The end of victimization – Morning Meditations, February 11, 2020

We have heard many times that there is only one problem and one solution. But the ego rejects this – seeing many problems and looking for many solutions. When we are identified with the ego we feel overwhelmed with problems. We see problems with relationships, our families, our finances, and the world. When we try to solve these problems individually we are trapped in the dream of being ‘somebody’. Pay careful attention to the solution.

When we claim we don’t know what to do to fix our problems we are speaking from the ego that does not want to solve anything. We have problems because we don’t want to give up being ‘somebody’. We don’t want to end the separation. The ego does not want to die. When we claim that we cannot find a solution, we are saying that we don’t know how to be ‘somebody’ and still be happy, but that is what we want. When we have any idea that we are a victim in any way, we are restating our allegiance to being ‘somebody’.

Only an imaginary ‘somebody’ can be a victim to an imaginary perpetrator. None of this can effect the truth, for it just happens in a dream. But since we are unwilling to give up that dream we experience the suffering, pain, loss, and struggle of being a victim. There is only one solution – give up being ‘somebody’.

The ego rushes in at this point and says it doesn’t know how to give up being ‘somebody’. And of course that is true in some ways. But actually the ego knows exactly how it is done. It is done when we decide we no longer want the ego and no longer want to be ‘somebody’. The ego is very aware that we have the choice. But what we won’t admit to ourselves as long as we are aligned with the ego is that we don’t want to give up our being a ‘somebody’. We don’t have the willingness. We don’t have the willingness because we don’t have the faith. All of which could be settled with forgiveness.

In the end, forgiveness always comes down to forgiving ourselves. As long as we believe we have things to forgive of others we are going along with the dream. If we are bearing grudges it is important that we release them, but in the end it is ourselves we must forgive. Not for anything that we have done but what we have believed about ourselves, and having made the choice of denying the truth.

So when we have problems we can’t find solutions for, when we are frustrated, depressed, angry or confused, it is because we are not willing to choose the truth. We are not willing to give up being ‘somebody’. We must acknowledge this. We must ask ourselves, “Am I willing to give up being ‘somebody’ or would I rather suffer? Why am I so happy to suffer?” We are completely ready to choose suffering. What is so attractive about being ‘somebody’?

Every one of us has a story of why we want to be ‘somebody’. But in the end it comes down to controlling, denying the truth, and avoiding the painful losses that led to our choice. This is what we must forgive. We must always be ready to remind ourselves that being a ‘somebody’ has no benefits – it is only struggle and loss. Giving up being ‘somebody’ is going to cost us nothing. But it is the end of suffering.

We have it the wrong way around. We are convinced giving up being somebody is the worst possible choice. We refuse to do it. We refuse to remember that it is the problem. We refuse to consider that we could do it. We don’t want to know. We want some other answer, some other solution. We want to keep on being ‘somebody’ and be happy. Let’s be very clear about this. It will never work because it can’t.

That is the basis of the ego – the idea that I can be happy being separate from the truth. I can make my own truth and live happily in it. That is what the ego is for. That is the view that supports its mission of control and destruction. Because all the ego can do is subtract, deny, cover up, destroy and control. It cannot create. There is no claim or guarantee that giving up being somebody is a simple task, but it is the only task that will bring an end to suffering.

Let us remember this. This is important. We don’t want to give up being somebody. If we did, we would have. We are unwilling. We have no faith and we have not forgiven ourselves. When you are suffering and something has triggered you and you are in distress, it is not easy to take full responsibility for that. But it is the only way to heal it. To claim any victimization simply keeps the wound alive.

To acknowledge that this distress is because of my choice to be somebody changes everything. To acknowledge that I am a victim of nothing and nobody opens possibilities for healing that weren’t open before. In the end what we are saying to ourselves is, “I do not believe I am pure and innocent. I do not believe in the truth. I do not accept my divine heritage and my perfection”. And when we deny that we suffer. At some point then we are free to make another choice – when we accept and acknowledge our denial of the truth we are free to change our mind. We can say, “I know I am not experiencing the truth because I am unwilling, but I accept that the truth is real and it is only my need to control that is causing me to experience this suffering or distress that I am in this moment. But that does not mean the truth is not true. It simply means I am not choosing it.

So what will you hold to be the very basic truth of yourself in this moment? That you are a perfect expression of a perfect source or that there is something about you that must be contained, hidden, and denied while you create this pretend life in this pretend world? There is no shame in choosing either one as long as we know that we are choosing. Victimization is the ego’s prized tool – it’s most powerful way to control. It will look for victimization in every moment; it will remind you that you are a victim in every situation and in the end that you are a victim of your own choice.

You are still a victim until you are willing to disempower the ego. Until we are willing to end the acceptance of victimization we will be clinging to being somebody. Let us awaken to the truth. We are holding our eyes closed and our hands over our ears saying no to it as strongly as we can – for what benefit? We can choose right now to start living as if the truth is true instead of victimization. Commit yourself to developing a faith in the truth – faith in what you are.