Choosing the Uncertainty of Surrender – Morning meditation, Nov 10, 2014

Although it doesn’t seem rational or logical, most of us prefer discomfort, struggle and belief in limitation to the uncertainty of surrender.  We prefer to be in control, even though we are clearly beginning to understand the negative consequences of being in control.  Control is still our choice by default.  We have all seen the child who prefers to do something herself even though it leads to tears and failure.  We have been conditioned to believe that we must be able to make it on our own – that we must be prepared for independent action.   We think it is a question of honor, survival and integrity to look after ourselves on our own.

In truth there is nothing to judge, label wrong, or consider as a failure or inadequacy.  It’s just the way it is.  The journey has come to this point.  There will come a time when we will choose surrender over control, and we will be most comfortable with trusting and allowing.  Then we will wonder how we could have put up with so much struggle for no reason.  For some of us that time may not come until it is time to give up the physical body.  In the end it really doesn’t matter when we do it, because the moment we do, we enter into the infinite, timeless space where the past doesn’t matter.

As we sit here now we are faced with the choice.  We may long for surrender, long for love, long for the peace and freedom of simply and authentically being ourselves, but we are attached to our identity and to what appears to be right and wrong and good and bad.  We are driven by our need to fit in; we feel pressure to stay in control.  There are a million reasons not to trust.  If we are honest and open with ourselves, we can find many ways that we refuse to trust – many reasons that we are attached to.  Perhaps we believe we must control our body, we must control our health, we must control what we say and do, we must be productive, we must accomplish.  The list goes on and on.

In the meantime love has no expectation of us whatsoever.  Love has no judgment and no time frame.  It just is.  We live in a whole universe, complex and enormous beyond the scope of the human imagination, built out of love, out of nothing – infinite in magnitude, infinitely microscopic, and infinitely huge with no end. This is the power of love.  This is the power we refuse to give in to.  We choose to be in control.  We choose the certainty of struggle and limitation.  We say no to the power that creates beyond our ability to understand.

So in this moment, be aware of your choice.  Acknowledge and recognize the truth of your choice whether it is conscious or unconscious.  There is no power pushing you in one direction or the other.  It is all happening within you.  Recognize and take responsibility for your choice to use control and limitation out of fear, and become conscious of the power you are denying.  You can say, yes, I know I am saying no to unlimited possibility and potential.  I recognize I am saying no  to unconditional love and infinite peace and freedom and I see that somewhere in me is a fear that believes I am better off in control and limitation.  I know that is true; I am becoming conscious and aware.

There is no need to judge, compare, or think it should be any way other than it is.  The profound moment is the moment we acknowledge the truth just as it is in this moment without judgment or expectation that it should be any different.  We just become open to the truth.  We need no longer pretend that anything is true but that which exists in this moment.  This life is not a competition.  It is not a race for enlightenment or a measure of our worth.  Nothing is better than any other.  Surrendering to the truth is not good.  Being attached to limitation is not bad.  In our most profound moments change occurs when we completely and totally accept what is, no matter what it is.  Then we are free.

Your mind, your ego and your identity, all have different views.  They think you should be better.  They think some things are better than others.  They think some things aren’t good enough.  There is no truth in these ideas and beliefs.  You can choose to let go of the pressure to be anything other than what you are in this moment.  You can choose to let go of all the ways you have believed you are not good enough – all the ways you think there is something wrong with you.  Claim the truth that all there is, is God – that everything about you is God and that everything about you that you judge is a judgment of God.

Will you proclaim the failure of God – the failure of the power that creates this universe from nothing in this very moment somehow got it wrong with you?  Will you proclaim that the power behind a million miracles, awe-inspiring beauty and profound magnificence is flawed in you?  Is this what you will proclaim?  Your ability to believe such an idea, to choose a story that is not true, is because of the gift of your imagination.  You have, in a remarkable evolutionary leap, the ability to imagine that which does not exist and then to believe in it.  Or perhaps, this is the very process by which the universe was created – to imagine something that doesn’t exist and then believe in it.

We are like children learning to use tools.  Often as we learn we hurt ourselves by using them incorrectly or because they are too powerful for us.   We have the power of imagination and mostly we use it to create limitation.  Let us be conscious of how we use our imagination.  Let us free ourselves now of any non-acceptance or any judgment and instead dwell in the truth, the truth of our perfection – the truth of the divine source of our being.  We can let go now.  We can give up.